The Journey

Part of growing up is going thru the motions, emotions, stress, immaturity and all kinds of things

As we grow older our feelings become more defined and we get know and understand them better. We start to know how to react to them. We choose which ones to follow and which to ignore.

We realise that what we thought we felt when we were younger may not necessarily be the true feelings. We reacted on impulse, call it raging hormones. We didn’t try to understand. We were wet behind the ears.

As we get older, we embark on this life long journey of learning. We learn to love truly. We learn to live to the full. We learn to appreciate what he have than cry for what we don’t have. We learn to tolerate.

As we grow older we realise that hardships are there to make us stronger and do not mean end of life. They are there to teach us to overcome and to help us realise that that one needs to work in order to succeed. We realise that we’re placed in this world for a purpose.

As we get older love becomes more important. We realise its value and its strength. We realise that for all those failed relationships, we were being prepared for that one special person that we’re meant to spend all our lives with. We love hard and know that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I have grown older and i am still growing. I now love freely and hard. I now appreciate this feeling. I now know that the best things in life present themselves to you while you least expect it. I learned to embrace and let my heard guide me. I value the ones in my life. I am content. The journey still continues. Yes, we do learn something new everyday, as cliche as that may sound, it still is the truth.

I love and i live.
This is my JOURNEY

In my head

In my mind…that’s where u’l always be.
When i’m in my sleep, all i wish 4 is neva 2 wake up, not because i don’t want 2 live, but because of this little reality my dreams created.

I just want my eyes 2 neva open, not coz i don’t wanna see things, but coz i’m afraid i’l blink and miss it all. Coz when they’re shut, i see everything so clear.

When i’m asleep, i don’t wish to awake, coz this little reality seems more real than anything else. I don’t see u with my eyes open. I’m afraid that if i open my eyes everything will just fade away.

In my dreams… is where ur face lies. In my heart…is where u live. I just wanna keep my eyes shut 4eva, just so i can see u everyday. Just so i can be with u always.

It’s agony waking up 2 realise that u not there. It’s misery to awake and realise that it’s all just a dream that will neva come true. That that’s just what u’l remain…an image in my head. A memory that’l will 4eva be loved and cherished.

In my head lies ur face, but in my heart ur heart, 4eva and always

MAD :-/

There are days wen i stay up all night, wondering wat could have been

But there r these waves of emotions that just sweep over all the dreams and fantasies

Its anger
I am angry that u just left, though it wasnt up 2 u
I am angry that u gone, and there was no warning or a hint
But i am mad,
Mad at myself 4 not appreciating u wen u were stil here

There’s hurt
I am hurt that u were taken away 2 soon
I am hurt coz my heart was ripped out of my chest and crushed
But i am mad
Mad because it seems u have taken it with u & u wont return it

Its sadness
I am sad coz u r not coming back, tho it wasnt ur fault
I am sad coz there wont be anyone else like u
But i am mad
Mad because im not gona see u again & thats somebodys fault

Theres agony
Not being able 2 hold u…thats agony
Having 2 cry every single night for u…thats agony
Not being able 2 tel u that i love u 2 ur face…thats agony
But i am mad
Mad because im in agony & thats not gona stop

But then, theres love
Its love that brings out all the anger and the hurt
Its love that brings out all the sadness and the agony
But i am stil mad
Stil mad because of this love
Stil mad because i love u this much
Stil mad because its this love that left me with all these emotion
s

I love u, but i am mad @ u…
I am mad @ u, but i love u much more

Gone too soon

Ur voice stil lingers in my head.
Like a breeze, it just sweeps my senses.
I am lost…lost and delirious. Is it a dream?
What powers do u possess? Invading my mind like that.

‘Does he…?’, echoes from ur lips.
I feel ur gentle touch on my palm. Its u, urging me 2 turn around. Its dark but i see u clearly…
Towering over me i see ur eyes glistening in the dark.

‘Does he…?’ I shake my head in disapproval.
Not knowing what the question was.
U take me in ur arms and hold me tight.
I feel so warm and safe, like i belong.

‘I wil not give u up’, u whisper with me stil in ur arms.
I couldn’t utter a word.
Still lost in ur embrace.
I love u. A voice says. My voice. I say it again. I love u. I love u don’t leave me.

‘I wil not leave u’, u promise.

Its getting cold again but u still holding me.
Why is it so cold.
Don’t let go of me.
Stay here.
Don’t leave…not just yet :’(

U slipping away.
I’m scared.
Where r u going?
Don’t leave me.

I wake up in sweat, tears, screaming in fear.
U not there.
U said u won’t leave.

U gone.
U left me here…alone.
U promised u won’t go.
Where r u?

Come back…come back i love u…come back.
Come back i still feel u…come back.
Come back…come back i need u..come back.

But u gone…and u never coming back… U gone…4 ever…too soon…
Too…soon:’(

POOHOLE

How spineless. No balls @ all. The fool lies + cheats. Its a good thing i cld smell a rat (maybe coz this one’s a rotten 1) from a mile. Not falling 4 that. Just hurt a bit coz i really felt this 1 eva since…

Memories

It never made any sense. It didnt sink in. Only now, 2 yrs on, it hits me. The realisation of it all just brings this overwhelming feeling of loss and panic…i gasp 4 air

It was around this time of the yr. Ur friends ‘kidnapped’ me in the dark @ ur command. I remember feeling so scared coz i didnt know wat was going on. But they brought me 2 u. U didnt apologise, u just got straight 2 the point.

U were so macho and so firm and focused. Iv neva seen u like that b4. I was impressed and taken by u. It was that day u walked away with my heart. Though i told u i belonged 2 another, u werent ready 2 accept it

Now it gets harder and harder. The more i think about u, the more angrier i become. I think of all the time we shared, the times i watched u play soccer and the pride i felt and the satisfaction of being urs and u being mine.

I also think of all the time i wasted toying with our hearts. I wish i could get it all back 2 do thngs different. I would spend every single minute with u. I would tel u how much i love u everyday.

Everytime i think about u my heart breaks a million pieces. The pain is as fresh as it was, if not more than the day u took ur last breath. It was that day that my heart left me. U stil possess it…even in death :’( . I cry every single night. I know my tears wil not bring u back but I just want 2 c u, hold u, kiss u and smell u 1 more time

I love u. I miss u…

Ah huh

I guess this goes 2 show friends are the people who do things that hurt u the most. Is it coz u don’t expect them 2 do it? Is it coz u expect them 2 be saints? Why do we have 2 learn the hard way?